April: National Child Abuse Prevention Month

by: Chelsea Glover-Jordan, LCSW-C, LICSW

Because April is National Child Abuse prevention month, I want to focus on why overcoming trauma and childhood adverse experiences is so important for people who are in the process of healing themselves. Child abuse can come in many different forms. We know of the most common ones, physical and sexual abuse can be very apparent and easy to identify. What about the ones that are not so easy to prove? According to the National Institute of Health (NIH) “Emotional abuse and emotional neglect are among the most prevalent of childhood maltreatment types and associated with a range of poor mental health outcomes”.  In the contrary, this type of abuse can be very difficult to prove. 

When I worked for Child Protective Services for the state of Maryland for almost 8 years, I investigated and supervised more physical abuse/neglect and sexual cases more than anything. I can literally count on one hand how many allegations of emotional abuse/neglect were investigated and substantiated. Not to say allegations were not reported, just that these instances are very difficult to prove. 

According to the Child Welfare League of America, for the fiscal year of 2023 only 3.5% of substantiated victims experienced only psychological or emotional abuse. Like many social issues in America, we also have to take into consideration underreporting due to ignorance, lack of resources, and cultural drawbacks. This is why this statistic is probably so low, it has become difficult to substantiate due to not being hallmarked by any physical and tangible evidence. 

When children are emotionally abused and neglected, they struggle to make meaningful connections for an array of reasons. They struggle with building attachment with their primary caregivers which further enforces trust issues and negative self concepts. Children who are emotionally abused and neglected often are not validated for their perspectives. They are not encouraged to have a voice, to advocate for themselves and to flourish into their uniquely curated personalities and interests. Children who struggle with this tend to not have emotionally available and intelligent parents. The maternal and paternal bonds that are normally formed from birth and throughout childhood are watered therefore stifling holistic human development, one that should be marked by secure attachments and a healthy sense of worth. 

Childhood abuse and neglect not only reflects a blatant disregard for the intrinsic motivation for a child to become an individual with a fully developed personality but it also reflects mental and emotional manipulation. It’s when a caregiver manipulates a child to invalidate themselves for the likes of others. It perpetuates a narrative that disregards one self and only takes into account the wants and the needs of others. Emotional abuse and neglect often entail name calling, the utilization of demeaning and degrading words toward a child, and rarely does it support word of encouragement and positive reinforcement. The child may then internalize negative words while eventually emulating and personifying those same hurtful words. 

Low self-esteem and negative self-worth will almost always lead to trust and attachment issues. Adults who were emotionally abused and neglected as children struggle to form secure attachments. They may experience being avoidant in attachments or extremely anxious in them but whatever way they sway, there is a constant disposition of mistrust and uneasiness within interpersonal dynamics. Whether there are anxious attachments within relationships, emotionally abused adults may struggle with extreme compliance and passivity. Some refer to it as “people pleasing”. This is done so as to not upset others which may result in conflict and an ultimate exit from the relationship. It can be a debilitating fear of the abused. If the emotionally abused and neglected person struggles with avoidance within their interpersonal dynamics, they may consistently withdraw from interpersonal circles. Whatever the case is, it’s almost never healthy. 

Depression and anxiety are common effects of childhood emotional abuse. Depression can be marked by frequent sadness, restlessness, crying spells, and feeling hopeless amongst other things. Anxiety can be very similar and overlapping in presentation more commonly marked by hyper-vigilance, possible bouts of mania, rumination, and the utilization of cognitive distortions and irrational thoughts. Managing anxiety and depression can be very difficult because they are very complex and unpredictable. The feelings of not being in control while being inundated with “normal” life stressors, can lead an emotionally abused person to consider not living anymore. 

Suicidal ideation can also be a common hallmark of an adult who was emotionally abused and neglected as a child. Because trauma can be so compounded and complex, adults who experience childhood emotional abuse often times struggle to grow maturely into their full selves. They struggle to look at the world and connections through an adult lens. Because there are constant and consistent issues within inter and intrapersonal dynamics, rumination can become apparently overwhelming.

Maladaptive coping can be very common. One of the most maladaptive coping we see quite commonly is substance abuse. This is when people use drugs and alcohol to escape their realities, realities that if faced with a clear mind would dredge up painful memories and residuals. These people use substances that temporarily soothe the hurtful memories and impact from childhood emotional abuse and neglect. 

Paying close attention to patterns of behaviors when trying to identify children who may be emotionally abused and neglected. Negative self-talk, aggression and anger, social withdrawal, and intense fearfulness and anxiety are just a few patterns to lookout for. Children having flat affects and not wanting to engage in “normal” childhood experiences may also be red flags. Because emotional abuse and neglect are not as easy to spot, we must be super intentional in knowing the signs. Although visible scars may not be apparent, the impact is loud and lasting. 

In order for an adult who has experienced childhood emotional abuse and neglect to overcome the impact, the focus must be on restoring self-worth and identity while building trust within healthy relationships. As we hold space for National Child Abuse prevention month, we must expand our understanding of abuse while better creating opportunities to heal and thrive.

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