Maternal Wounds Impacting Black Women Who Feel Like Imposters

by: Chelsea Glover-Jordan, LCSW-C, LICSW

What is “imposter syndrome”. According to Oxford, Imposter syndrome is the persistent inability to believe that one’s success is deserved or has been legitimately achieved as a result of one’s own efforts or skills”. Being a Black woman therapist, whose client load is predominantly Black women, I consistently encounter women who struggle with seeing themselves as the rest of the world sees them. They struggle with emotionally and mentally stepping into roles they have already physically been placed in. Because my specialty is all things maternal health, I began to ponder about how this imposter syndrome has been curated by trauma and maternal wounds.

Based on the objects relations theory and according to Verywell Mind, “early childhood relationships, particularly with primary caregivers, significantly shape an individual’s personality and how they relate to others throughout their lives”. I would imagine the impact of not having a rooted and solid foundations for interpersonal relationships sets the tone for the relationship one has with themselves and with others. This can be a very layered deficiency and upon analyzing each layer, a new and complex component needing to be addressed may arise. Emotional, cultural, identity and belonging seem to all be impacted by maternal wounds and trauma.

For Black women, the absence of maternal validation can quietly plant seeds of self-doubt in early life, creating an internal belief where worthiness feels conditional and fragile. When love, affirmation, or emotional presence from a mother is withheld or inconsistently offered, a child often begins to internalize the idea that being enough requires doing more [and more and more]. This belief becomes a silent directive for high and sometimes over achievement. The belief may resemble something like: “I must achieve to matter. I must overperform to be loved.” As the woman begins to transition into adulthood, success is pursued not as a celebration of ability, but as a void of what can be described as an emptiness. Even when milestones are reached and goals are consistently achieved, degrees earned, careers built, recognition received, there still remains a pestering sense of fraud. For the Black woman who fall into this narrative, accomplishments are often minimized or attributed to luck. Praise feels unearned, and compliments are not received with genuine gratitude. It seems that no amount of achievement can fill the hole left by a lack of maternal affirmation. And so, the striving continues, with no finish line in sight, like being on a hamster wheel.

This dynamic sets the stage for a relentless cycle of overachievement coupled with emotional starvation. Perfectionism takes root, convincing Black women their safety and ability to be loved depends on perfection. They may function at a high level, hence the coined term “high achieving Black women”, capable, efficient, dependable, all while internally struggling with anxiety, a sense of inadequacy, and an immense fear of being exposed. The demands they place on themselves become unsustainable, leading to exhaustion and emotional depletion. Achievements, rather than being sources of pride, begin to feel hollow and somewhat disconnected from identity. Let’s not even get into identity. For a lot of high achieving Black women who fall into this cycle, a sense of identity is elusive and seems to be very obscured from their perspective. 

Layered onto this personal struggle is a cultural narrative that further complicates healing and primary awareness. The Strong Black Woman mantra, often reinforced through generations, teaches that strength means to be stoic, serious, independent and filled with a lot of endurance.

Healing from maternal wounds is possible. It begins by acknowledging the pain without shame, recognizing that unmet needs and emotional absences matter. This process often requires going through the stages of grief. One must grieve love not received, the safety not felt, and their little voices that had to stay silent. In that grief, there is also space to reparent oneself, hard but possible. One must offer themselves the care, encouragement, and the affirmation that was once withheld by their maternal figure.

Through therapy, community, and intentional self-exploration, Black women can begin to disentangle their worth from performance and reconnect with the parts of themselves that always deserved love, even before they achieved anything. Personally, I empower my clients using narrative therapy. It is a way for them to become aware of what was imposed on them and identify components of their existence they want to change or improve based on their personal values and more mature perspectives of where they stand in the world and more importantly, to themselves.

Imposter syndrome reflects unresolved pain and distorted reflection. For Black women, it is often the result of generational wounds and trauma. These wounds do not have to define the narrative. Healing allows success to become integrated, not a disguise to hide behind, but a mirror reflecting the strength, truth, and wholeness that was already there.

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